ASK TJ: Relationships & Family

TJ, What is the most important lesson a father can teach his son?

Teach that nigga that YouTube is forever. Post up some dumb shit and you’re gonna pay for it later in life. Oh, another good lesson is to always airbrush the pics you put up on a dating site. WWF is fake. Top Chef is rigged and black women require a little more work but they make better lovers. Steven Segal made better movies than Chuck Norris. Matter fact, I say Steven Segal could still whoop Chuck Norris’ ass. But the most important thing you can teach him is that a true education does not require a degree but it does require empathy, which he can acquire through travel. This way he could sew them international oats.

TJ, Is a year too long to still be thinking of an ex?

Depends how long ya’ll were together. But this is what I think. If there is any part of you wanting your ex to pay for hurting you, even if all you are thinking is "I hope that bitch get’s what’s coming to her" – you’re hurting yourself. Because ultimately, you’re staring at a closed door. And if you’re staring at a closed door your back is turned to all the doors that are opened. The bottom line is: “Moving on isn't about what u forget. It's about what u forgive.”

How many people is too many people when it comes to the subject of a person's sexual past?

It’s not about where that person’s privates have laid in the past, it’s about where that person's character stands right now.

Why is it that women who struggle with knuckle heads, deadbeats, "poo putts", and jerks, crap on good dudes who actually set and work towards goals?

It’s a control issue.  When women are young they seek PROJECTS. Immature women feel significant when they’re with someone that needs repair. It’s their built-in need to want to nurture someone. Here’s a quote to live by: “Young girls love bad boys. And when those young girls become grownups, the good guys date their daughters.”

TJ, I've been single for the past 5 years because every guy that I meet just wants to have sex and not a real relationship. I've evaluated myself and I'm not really sure what I'm doing wrong or if it's even me, but why is it that men nowadays don't wanna have a meaningful relationship? Or do you think it might just be me? I cook, I clean, I do all the things that I should do as a woman but it never works.

The same woman asks –

I don't see you being much of a sex talker but I'mma go out on limb and ask this... When is it okay for a female to start giving head to a guy that she's sexually involved with and do you think it should be done as an incentive or nowadays is it considered a requirement to men? Do most men like sloppy head or more controlled slow head?

Well, I don’t know why men just want to have sex with you. Maybe it’s because you talk about sucking dick on the internet. But other than that you seem like a nice, respectable, church-going cum-catcher to me. And cooking and cleaning is very hard to do at an insane asylum. But to be perfectly honest, men want sloppy head AND controlled, slow head. Basically, you’ve gotta start with water tricks and end that bitch with a squeegee. And drink that hotein! No cleanup.

TJ, Is it ok for an ex-boyfriend/girlfriend to remain in contact with the family when the family is the one making contact?

It depends on what you want. Is it flattering that your exes family keeps in touch with you? Probably? But it’s not their responsibility to establish boundaries, it’s yours. If they really love you that much, they’ll understand you needing to distance yourself until you’re ready to be in contact. And if they really think you’re all that – fuck a phone call, tell these niggas to send money, follow you on Twitter, like your Facebook page, help get your brand up.

What are the ages throughout a man's life when his wardrobe should make a change? And why... I see a lot of older people who are grown ass men still dressing like they're teenagers and wondering why THE MONEY IN THEY POCKETS IS STILL YOUNG HEARD ME?

It’s simple, these niggas didn’t get pussy when they was in high school and college. So now they 35 – 45 years old still trying to deflower these little teenagers. Not knowing these teenagers got stretch marks like octamom. And let’s be real. A broke nigga can’t date no grown up – get that red lobster. He gotta date a chick that’s gone be content with frozen yogurt with the sprinkles. He can’t take a beautiful grown woman to his momma house and skeet on her. But he can take a teenie bopper down to tent city by them homeless people and fuck her in a shopping cart and if she’s drunk enough she wont know the difference between that and a Cadillac.